Finally, I have reached an age where people really don’t care about the number after the numeric 2 — just the age which is supposed to have all the shit together and sound sane. While my friend circle is filled with people who have day jobs as teachers and does drugs on weekends, along with another friend circle, with cutesy kids and husbands, that looks straight out of Stock photos.
But, in this journey, I have lost a lot of people and found another lot, and kept losing them and I keep finding them. Now, I am in a twisted loop, where I have lost track of exactly how many people I still have in my life and whether they are actually there or secretly hates and wishes me dead. But, there are a few that remained constant. From seeing me grow up to what I am today, to telling me that they hate the yellow shirt, these are the brutally honest people I look forward to keep, no matter what!
All these years, like the moon, I went through phases. A born stuck up little person, I fought my way out to the mediocre life I am in right now. Never listened to any of the pieces of advice, but I secretly pray that the Darshana in the parallel universe did listen to that advice and living her life to the fullest. I am late for a lot of things, always running late, always spreading mess, going through a trampoline of mood swings, but, never have I ever wished bad for someone, always did good in whatever calibre I have to offer.
There are so many people who cannot see the goodness in me because it is buried so deep down, and the worst thing? I forgot the keys. Beneath the thick skin, lies a person that cries herself to sleep on days she thinks she could have done better. I try to find hope in people’s eyes, I take time to grow closer, and I fight my way out to know a person who pretends to be bad outside. Maybe she or he shield oneself behind the thick hide too.
Turning 26 today, I know my life will have a lot of stories to share in the coming days. With a kiss and a slap, life has taught me that it is a tough world for a silent rebel who smiles at everyone. While fighting for a lot of basic things in life, I am thankful for the number of things life has given without even asking. Going by the irrational and eccentric decisions I have taken in life, it looks sheer recipes for disaster and downfall, landing straight on my face, but, the cosmos always had a different plan.
I am ready, for whatever life is going to bring to my table. I have never lived a virtuous life, but, I own up to every single decision I have taken and given a chance, I would do it all over again, and I do not regret a single part of it. Here is to a year older, a year wiser, a year better.
-Memoirs of a 26-year-old.